Mean Mugs Wings & Things - Spiciest Dish in Columbus

Do you believe time travel is possible? Wormholes? Rifts in the space time continuum? 4 years ago I sold Fartley Farms to a local co-packer (the sauce is still available in Columbus and online!), but as I walked out the door from that final meeting, I stepped into another dimension. Darkness first, echoes of the past welling up around me, bright flashes of red and orange, vaguely resembling shapes. Every spicy dish I’d tried flashed before my eyes, followed by blank spaces, placeholders in the hereafter. All slathered in hues only perceptible in the gaps between the here and there.

“Ron,” a voice thundered from the ether, “the people of Columbus crave heat; you must guide them.”

“Did I finally eat something so spicy I died?” I pondered aloud.

As I finished my question, I was ejected into the middle of W Broad Street, the voice laughing as it faded, and I was thrown into the median, cars blazing by. Hollywood Casino blocked out the sun like an ancient obelisk. Before me sat an unassuming AMVETS, with the familiar smell of chicken dripping with capsaicin and vinegar. Following my nose, I arrived at Mean Mugs Wings & Things, home to three members of the Pain family, Mz Pain, Mistress Pain, and Major Pain, and their neighbor, Scorpion Sting. Each is listed as “Extreme Heat” on their menu.

My journey through the rift left my gut biome rejuvenated, and my confidence at an all-time high. If I were going to be guided to such a locale as Lewis Hall Post 1928, I would be getting the full lineup of the extreme heat wings.

I held the dark brown Scorpion Sting wing aloft, its sticky molasses base masking the Scorpion pepper powder within. The sweetness of the BBQ initially hid the heat, but the Scorpion pepper always stings. Molasses is unusual in that it forces the heat to linger. Even if you wanted the spiciness to dissipate, that base holds the line. A slight leak in my left nostril as all the cottonwood I’d accidentally inhaled over the past week began to drain out. Three wings in, I figured it was time to introduce myself to the Pains.

Opening the box of the Pain Ladies, I was met with so much pepper coverage that I was unsure there were wings in there at all. Now, whether this happened before or after I started my spicy vision quest, no one can be sure, but I’m red-green color blind, so Mz and Mistress Pain hold the same hue of radioactive red to me. These were breaded because I had to try all the varieties, which meant even more holding capacity for the sauce. I’m a sucker for a good Habanero mash, and with a touch of Carolina Reaper and a hit of sweetness, these wings felt like a warm, familiar hug. Whatever timeline this was, the peppers hit faster than a car into the front of a Columbus business (forreal though, what is happening).

More cottonwood emerged from my nose, and tiny tears began to well at the corner of my eyes. Vision blurry, but still intact, I went through two of each.

Wiping off the excess pepper mash from my thumb and forefinger, I held Major Pain to my eyeballs to get a whiff, eyebrows singeing slightly. The Major is the house made Buffalo Sauce with Reaper and I tell you what, it smells like it. The level of sauciness may vary (based on other pictures I’ve seen), and for a buffalo I tend to love slathered, but the orange glow of these Major Pain wings looked as though they’d absorbed the heat, infusing themselves with the 2.2M SHU pepper powder. I raced through the first flat, the vinegar of the buffalo sauce pulling the heat along until that was all I felt. Major Pain arrived and did not leave for the rest of the wings. While Mz and Mistress linger then bounce, the Reaper powder pushes the Major above its other three compatriots.

Recently renewed gut biome completely demolished, tongue out, I thought about the list. I thought about the other 144 dishes that came before this. Major Pain stands out as the hottest in the lineup, and unseats Shakers Public House and their Death Nectar Wings at #6. The whole foursome is not to be taken lightly. Major Pain indeed, and all natural, no extracts.

If my count is correct, Mean Mugs has 29 wing sauces to choose from and as far as I can tell each is house made. With a lineup like that you could create your own Hot Ones lineup 3 times over.

You can find Mad Scientist Michael’s Mean Mugs sauces at 3780 W. Broad St. Columbus, OH 43228 inside the AMVETS (all are welcome!).

I’ve got a good backlog to get through, but always open to requests and recommendations!

Find all of the Spiciest Dishes in Columbus here: https://sawce.app/blog/spiciest-dish-in-columbus-oh